And you really shouldn't be lying about it. Muslim women are the most economically disadvantaged group in the UK, according to a report issued by the UK House of Commons. But if the man you are marrying is an emotional mess, hung up on his ex-wife, or financially broken after the divorce, it may not be as smooth sailing for you. Whats not typically expected is becoming a second wife. Ensure they dont lose themselves in the past; remind them that they have a whole new future with you to look forward to even if they choose to honor the memory of their first wife in their own ways. And lot of painful words that was unacceptable. IslamicAnswers.com Staff Photo Gallery. And does his wife know that he was communicating with you ? Even extended family like grandparents, aunts, and uncles, etc., may not ever see you as an actual parent of the other persons biological child. Perfect for me, but he wants me to be his second wife. In an ideal situation, you could co-exist, acknowledging that you each have a unique space in the family. It is not Islamic for him to lie to his first wife and marry in secret. Family dysfunction has resulted in a scarcity of suitable marriage proposals. Website that helps Muslim men find a second wife in the UK has 100,000 users despite bigamy carrying a sentence of up to seven years in prison. One of the disadvantages of being a second wife is that for some reason, people are far less accepting of a second wife. So i forced him to go on his vacation and inform his wife about us, thou, it will be hard for him because his wife is his first cousin, their parents are siblings. What i have found in the conversation really killed me, and give me lot of pain. The thought of her man with another woman makes her so sad and miserable, it completely breaks her heart into a million pieces! Allah swt Will give you answer in sha Allah. Food Menu; Cart; Checkout; Return to website; disadvantages of being a second wife islam As a second wife, you need to face marriage with both a stiff upper lip and a wry sense of humor. Her body was paralyzed so my parents refuse our marriage, Swapping school for caretaking my sick wife. I ain't suspecting, however, I strongly suggest that you investigate a bit more about this man. And in some circles, people wont hesitate to throw these numbers out casually in conversation. You feel stuck and feel as if you do not belong where you are. Hence, before you embark on your marital journey, you must understand the second marriage problems and how to handle them. Here are 9 challenges of being a second wife to watch out for: 1. Second-wife syndrome 3. If you are determined that you want to marry him and you are convinced about him and his intentions, you are allowed to marry him as per the sharee'ah. You find yourself constantly comparing yourself with his ex-wife. In the first day he arrived back here in Saudi, i sent a message to his wife asking for an apology for one of the reason causing her pain, a give a her nice message because i thought that she accepted it and everything is okay, but suddenly i received her responsed and she was very angry , Even she told me that in every prayer she will pray for my suffering and unhappiness in life. Being known as or introduced as the second wife can feel condescending. ), its not going to be your run-of-the-mill marriage. Be well and talk to people in your community who have nothing to gain from this marriage. The bottom line is, if something is NOT obligatory, then it is open for negotiation in the marriage contract. Am a moslim lady above 30years in love with a moslim man slightly older than me. May peace and blessings be upon our Prophet, his family and Companions. That is thoughtless, immature, and rash. Forget about him sister, there are plenty of other better Muslim brothers out there. think wisely.its harder to get out of once you are in it. But how can i conquer all of this?Well, his always and everyday telling me that he will never leave me, that im his wife too and he love me so much. im just only doing prays to release and ease the pain and stress i have now. However, the Supreme Court has opined that children born of a second marriage can claim father's property even if the marriage itself might be void. There are two ways, either you let all the obstacles and unnecessary judgments wear you down or you focus on working on your marriage. I'm actually really confused as to why it surprises you that your husband has an angry first wife that hates you on his hands. When your friends talk about Christmas and having the whole family there togetheryoure over there thinking, The ex has the kids for Christmas Bummer. Avail years best deals on our marriage courses! i get curious with this,.. i want to know whats going on and what will happen. Thats life. If she's not, then you can either find a way to fix your problem, or get a divorce. Because then he'll start feeling that you don't respect (there's that word again) the things he does do for you. Secondly, did you try to understand why he did not tell you about his wife? Its possible there are needs in the familys life that only she fulfills, for instance, if they are co-parenting after divorce, she will be around. Unfortunately, were human and insecurity is bound to creep in at some point. Stay with us till the end to see the silver lining. If he buys you a new smartphone, use it. And it will be the cause of the destruction of society and civilization. We would not want anyone to do us like this, so why would a second wife allow such a thing to happen to another muslimah. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); Guess Who? A man doesn't need his wife permission to get married, so to get married and validating the marriage isn't a sin in itself, however it can lead to many sins and generally issues: 1. In case of an acrimonious divorce, your spouse could have trust issues and intimacy issues, making it difficult for them to open up to you completely. Some lawyers. They will dissolve the marriage as soon as business deal comes through. I Really understand your sitaution. Please advise me please. It annoyed her excessively that the financial planning didnt seem to include her or her comfort. If you want sis. It can be a challenge if wounds from old relationships arent quite healed. 4. On that our beloved Prophet Hazrat Muhammad SAW replied the person who describes the things that he/she doesnt have is like those who wear two lying clothes. The second wife shouldn't marry unless he promises to tell the first wife. But resolving conflict is key to being a second wife, so be smart and pick your battles., Related Reading: Second Marriage After 40 What to Expect. She left what she considered "normal" when she accepted Islam. As salaamu alaykum. His parents found him a new girl and Im left devastated. According to one hadith: Hazrat Asma R.A narrated: the one woman came to Hazrat Muhammad SAW and said her husband has a second wife, and if she shows something that she doesnt have to her second wife. They have conveniently used the sacred institution of marriage in Islam . When Marcus and Chantal got married, it was the second marriage for both of them. Because he intends to introduce the idea later, after marriage. It was hard. mortality is outrageously high and t Were your one-stop destination for unraveling the mystery that is love. Second wife doesnt mean second place keep that in mind. Most of time, im thinking to leave, and let him to be with his first wife. But in case he can bear her load like wishes, requirements, gifts, wealth, and expenses properly. Related Reading: How To Work On Your Relationship With The Stepchildren: Experts View. Irsha Ikram is a great Islamic researcher, and writer, and have a good command of Quranic writing. 3, there would be competition amongst the wives as to who is a better wife and so you would always be the center of everything. What did he explain to you in this conversation ? fiscal difficulties. Every possibility seems available to them. His first wife might not know a thing about you, too. 18 August 2016. Accept that this relationship will have a few quirks, it will make it easier to accept being a second wife. These same feelings can undoubtedly be felt by the second husband, too, since it is . ( Sahih) (Tirmidhi), Abu Hurairah narrated that the Messenger of Allh said: ``Let not any woman ask for the divorce of her sister, so that she may empty her sister's plate. Many first marriages start with two young, giddy people, unfettered by the realities of life. Ready to be a stepmom? All Right Reserved, Holy Quran Chapter 4 surah Nisa verse No. You were married to a man who had another wife and both of you kept it a secret. If they lost their first wife to illness, they will be battling some amount of grief all their lives. In Quran Ar-Rum 30:21 Allah Says and he has put between you affection and mercy. If the man can not deal with both of you justly, he should not be marrying you. You should have had a mahram from your side when you met him. And don't be so quick to nag him about the things he doesn't do right. You are a little older now, and you learned some harsh realities. And don't lie to people. Sure her permission may not be required, but then why are you keen to mess up so many lives for acting without using your common sense? We all struggle with . Why would you want to hurt another human being that badly? Am I too young to marry her? Do intighara to ASK Allah If he is the one for you because ,this is Really a mess. Sometimes, says the report, it is uttered in rage and irresponsibility, in a single breath, ruining the lives of the women and children forever because they have no recourse for maintenance. like grandparents, aunts, and uncles, etc., may not ever see you as an actual parent of the other persons biological child. The first wife and second wife comparisons, and the unpleasantness stemming from them are definitely among the many challenges you may have to face in your marriage. She wants to cry herself to death. I've often heard people say that love is unconditional. You do not have the same rights as the first legal wife. My parents want me to marry a psychologically abusive man. - -. Not a considerate man. Heres what happens when you are unsure about how to deal with being the second wife: It can get rather overwhelming, but remember, if you insist on being stuck in the vicious first wife vs second wife competition going on in your head, youre not going to get very far in your marriage. 2. The pain of being a second wife is that you find yourself on the sidelines of a lot of things going on in your spouses life. If the person in the second marriage who was married before didnt have children, then chances are they never have to even talk to their ex again. Challenges. The weight of all of these can fan second wife insecurities even in most self-assured women. As a result, you could be left feeling that shes there a little too much and stepping on your toes. Well, being a second wife takes a special kind of grit, humor, and possibly a lot of deep breathing. I imagined people mocking me, Here comes the second wife. Concerning this Hadees it shows in Islam the perspective of the second wife is like the first wife started to show things to her for sake of hurt, jealousy, insult, or like that. I feel so sad and bad in her responded. But remember, never ask him to leave his first wife, nor create any misunderstanding between them, instead, be with her like a sister. Yes, of course, there are some pivotal challenges like an overbearing ex-wife, but most of it is often cooked up in your head. If your spouse is a widower and lost his first wife, be even more prepared that he will be honoring her memory and also paying a lot of attention to his children, if he has them. Try to fix it. He was a good person, good akhlaq and very pious. Or he marries a woman who is poor and starving on the streets, just to give her a home. To get revenge on her? What worries me is that this man never even told you about his first wife - if you hadn't randomly found out about her, he would probably have married you without even telling you anything. Just because they want that woman. If there is a really big problem in your marriage, so big that its got you looking for someone else, then you need to sit down and discuss that. He proposed for marriage to me as a second wife. Everything was the same. Walaikumussalam w w. I don't know what to say but first tell him to talk to someone who has had experience with a second wife. A second marriage quickly becomes serious. Remember he does not want to have a . She doesn't understand why the first wife is mad because although polygamy is new and difficult to OP, the first wife is a born Muslim and it should be part of her culture like Mormons have it. Based on that others, whom did not follow those rules, would always be doing injustice to you and attacking you. Then you can go in loss. We celebrate the happy, imperfect love without judgment or bias, and strive to help people love more mindfully by viewing their relationship patterns from the lens of mental health and psychology. Don't rush into marriage. Living This Life in a Positive Manner In pursuing happiness, Islam has its own way. disadvantages of being a second wife islam. On page 55, the second to the last paragraph mentioned that the writing style in this book, fluid writing style, was chosen intentionally so as to ease the reading exercise. Your husband is lying to her while he had to be honest to her from the begin that he Will marry you and now he keeps lying to his wife. Aisha tells me that her husband saw polygamy as his religious duty. I just informed my husband and keep asking him, what happened and what is his plan, what going on, but he just answered me that trust him, and dont reply her or give message her anymore. Ask Allah for a better man and inshallah you'll get a better brother for marriage. Its a lot to take on and the fact that youve chosen to do so says a lot about you. However, in most cases, when the secret is revealed, the wife never accepts the situation nor forgives the husband. Remember one thing sis. He told to his wife, that she is the mother of his son, the official, his meat and blood. Some construction workers. Am I too young to marry her? maitre gims a combien de disque d'or; For Sally, it was a perpetual thorn in her side that the house she shared with her husband Bill had his first wifes name on the lease along with his. Along with finances, the whole second wife and property rights issue is bound to flare up at some point. Maybe they only want a couple of children to love, and really don't care about a romantic life. As a second wife, you dont really have a say in any of this, because all of it was done before you came into the picture at all. Want to have a happier, healthier marriage? As much as we try to focus on the good parts, there would some disadvantages of being the wife of a man tired of two marriages: Along with the ever-present comparisons of first wife vs second wife, there is also the question of the second wife and family issues, the second wife and property rights, and so on. Its always better to go into a major life decision well-prepared. Some want one child, some want 10 children. He lied to you and his wife. "it is evident from a study of the Holy Quran that a special situation of a post-war period is being discussed. If you don't like it, then don't marry her! While there are some benefits of being a second wife (hopefully your spouse got most of his hijinks out of his system by now! Polygamy is not an idea that just "springs up" on you one day, from nowhere, lol. Hopefully, regardless of what happens, this woman receives the reward for her effort in accepting Islam and trying to be a good Muslim. I couldn't disagree more with your comment regarding the difference between women who are in love with their husbands versus those that care for their husbands and that the difference has a bearing on who can/will accept their husbands having another wife. And yes, there are MANY men who really do not want polygamy. If it was the case that having more than one wife was a universal norm according to the Qur'an, then the Qur'an would have narrated existence of more than one wife for Adam. To help you do that, weve rounded up challenges you could look out for in your role as a second wife, so youre equipped for anything that might come your way. But that doesnt mean that they arent a little wounded. But that doesnt mean we dont approach every love affair and marriage with hope and all the emotional intelligence we can muster. Your wedding is your wedding and you can do whatever you want. Being a parent is hard enough; in reality, being a stepparent is out of this world hard. In any case, a person who is unable to respect another person's experiences and opinions, and who constantly over-glorifies his own, doesn't have a religious problem, but a personality problem.. Do not let shaytan lead you out of Islam because of polygamy. Every person's nature is different. Comparison with the ex is toxic all around, Kranti says, Even if the comparison tips the scales in your favor, it comes from a place of unease and insecurity. Linda P (124) 09/12/2022 at 8:41 pm. Some stay home with the children. 9 Challenges You Should Be Prepared For Being A Second Wife 1. Second marriages are like the mature version of you getting married again. Right now I would say that OP is a better Muslim than most Muslims. I finally realized I needed to choose my battles, and that meant grinning and bearing it sometimes.. 10 Signs of a Covert Narcissist and How to Respond to Them, What is Hypervigilance in Relationships & Ways to Combat It, 10 Ways on How to Avoid an Emotional Meltdown in Marriage, 10 Ways Past Sexual Trauma Affects Your Relationship, 7 Stages of Trauma Bonding in a Relationship and How to Handle, When Should You Tell Your Spouse, We Have a Problem, 25 Things Narcissists Say in Relationship & What They Really Mean, How to Negotiate When No One Wants to Raise the Issue in Marriage, Treading Carefully: Getting Back Together After Separation, 3 Ways Separation in Marriage Can Make a Relationship Stronger, 10 Things You Must Know Before Separating From Your Husband, 12 Steps to Rekindle a Marriage After Separation, How to Combat the 5 Glaring Effects of Anxiety After Infidelity, How to Have a Trial Separation in the Same House, Feeling No Emotional Connection With Your Husband, How to Get Back Together After Separation, 6 Ways to Tell if Someone is Lying About Cheating, 5 Signs That You Are Living in a Toxic Marriage, 7 Important Tips to Build Trust in a Relationship, 10 Effective Communication Skills for Healthy Marriages, 20 Signs of a Married Man in Love With Another Woman. What is the real???? Plus, the divorce must have made him stronger and now he knows what not to do to sustain a marriage. Kranti says, As a first wife, you would maybe marry your partner and their family. Its possible this is your second marriage, too, in which case youll be able to empathize. Its not just a family, its a whole extended family and you may end up feeling like the proverbial square peg in a round hole. Yet we make as felicitous . Romantic love comes and goes. And he made it easier on her to the point of actually believing that being the second wife is better in many ways. i got to know him through a cousin of mine who introduced us to each other, exchanged pictures and we both liked each other, started communicating fell in love with each other. 1, you nor go fit sleep well for nite. You know what you are willing to do, and not willing to do. And some people really just don't care (yes, there are MEN who really don't care, I know a few). its too emotionally trying and to be honest unless you are rich the men nowadays find it hard to pay for two houses for many different educations, for maintenance, health fees etc.Majority of people i know with second wives get help from the govt bcos the men cant affrod what THEY SAID they could..the only reason i dont divorce is becos my husband can take care of all my expenses and the children and he loves them and takes good care of themi wish i coudl say the same for many others..its just easier to get a husband that wants one wife. Sister, I understand you compleet. The greatest fear for Muslim women is the triple talaaq axe. He told to his wife, that she is the mother of his son, the official, his meat and blood. Some people LOVE sex so much they need multiple partners to be happy (and by the way, that's not just a man thing, I know women who love it that much too). What are the disadvantages of being a second wife? 11 August 2016. All the hardships in life will eventually be over and lightened by our belief in Allah. I knew my family wouldnt approve of our marriage, but I was weak. 2, you get 2 eat variety of meals each passing day as the wives take turns in cooking. No automatic inherentance rights or rights to the house right etc. The first advantage of being a second wife is that this is the righteous way to follow the sunnah that in return you can bestow with bundles of blessings and Ajar. You might want to start laying the groundwork while youre dating and before marriage, so you dont walk into a household of extreme hostility. Love is bling and you always fall in love. This husband probably knew that being upfront wasn't going to work and he's comfortable lying so he has chosen this route. (Ar-Rad 13:38). A typical statistic out there now says that 50 percent of first marriages end in divorce, and 60 percent of second marriages end in divorce. ". Aside from the love i have on him, aside from the care and love his showing me, how can i be secure myself???? Your spouse probably had a financial plan mapped out with their first wife. 3 Allah almighty has stated that: If you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly with the orphans, marry women of your choices: two, or three, or four. 2) She does not want equal share of his time and is happy if he spends only 2 days/nights with her a week-any more is to the . It may be that this (second) marriage will make him more chaste and prevent him from doing something haraam. Go find a woman who doesn't mind it. The Advantages and Disadvantages of Polygamous Homes. It's not entirely your fault, though, her husband is equally, if not more, to blame. Hi, This is a sign of their lack of reason and religious commitment. But you still need to DISCUSS that before marriage. why did he not tell you that he is already married ?? Well, i my mind get full of thinking too much until i reached the point that i started to look job in other country to leave this place. Look, any man who can run out and do something against his wife's will, which causes her heart to break, and not feel bad about it Well sorry, but he is just not a nice man. Divorce can be an expensive proposition. Too weak to stand by himself, how would he stand by you? We went to therapy as a family; I tried my best to talk to her and convince her that I was as much a friend as a parent and that she could trust me. Granted, some (extremely rare) men practice polygamy because they see it like a charity. According to a study by Pew Research Center, in 2013, 64% of eligible men and 52% of eligible women remarried in the US. Does his wife even know about her? You dont want to succumb to second-wife depression owing to the pressures, insecurities, and unpleasantness in your marital life on account of your spouses past. This can make for a challenging home life from day to day. Some work in food service. It is permissible for women and their family guardians to stipulate a condition in the marriage contract that the husband may not marry a second wife against her will. Bonobology.com is the couple-relationship destination for Indians everywhere! Muslims made enemies of virtually everyone. I dont try to protecting him, Because it also means he is not going to be honest with you or stay with you. Also, if your husband has financial problems, he had no right to marry you in the first place. So if youre reeling under the pain of being a second wife, find solace in knowing that youre not alone. It is very unfortunate that some women object less to their husbands doing haraam things than to their marrying another woman in a permissible manner. Its in a person's nature, or its not. They accept polygamy because this has been a way of life. Not every man Will do that to his wives. Now Chloes story was a bit different because her husband was one hundred percent into this marriage. She honestly and truly CANNOT BEAR IT. Some like the desert, and some like the ocean. being an adoptive parent. It won't be ok. Or if you are so generous to marry a woman and give her a home to live in Why don't you skip the marriage part, and just give her the home? The Rules of Divorce | A Summary of Rulings | Al-Islam.org Commitment is the rational dimension of the bond that . Trust me, when you do it the RIGHT way, you will be much happier in the end. This is the fault of the husband taking his wife for granted, and trying to stockpile sexual resources. This means youll feel the heat of curious stares and annoying, mosquito-like questions at least for the first year or so. TL'DR, husband Continue Reading People fall in and out of love every day, it's not really the most stable thing to base your marriage decision on. disadvantages of being a second wife islamdetroit winter temperatures. But how different the circumstances. Well, i dont have doubt on his love, but now , how can i know the truth between of what his telling to me and what his telling to his wife ?? Marriage is the lawful intercourse act that ensures modesty, chastity, and protection which is a need in social life. May Allah grant us success! Divorce can be an expensive proposition. It's the second time in my life that the word second wife was mentioned to me. Disadvantages of being a second wife in polygamy Being a second wife in polygamy can be very difficult as many people view second wives as home wreckers. Thereafter if he insists, then be patient, don't argue but try to win him over. Then there is the hardship of making a living by yourself as a single person. Can You Touch Or Read Quran Without Wudu. Now lets discuss the healthy benefits of 2nd marriage and what Islam says to Muslims for dealing with second wives. Allah will grant you someone honest and better than him inshallah, First off, you arent married yet..so you dont HAVE to accept his proposal..you are in NO WAY OBLIGATEDif you KNOW you arent going to be happy in this sort of arrangement dont do it..and also..if a man cannot be honest in his intentions then..i would question marrying him in the first place.being in this sort of marriage is a choice..it isnt an obligation and ALLAHswt doesnt demand you do it. However, Love actually is sacrifice. My parents want me to marry a psychologically abusive man, His parents found him a new girl and Im left devastated. disadvantages of being a second wife islam. Men and women without children are considered incomplete This can occur in relationships that do or do not include children. Initially, Imran didn't tell his first wife he had remarried, but eventually she accepted it and now she gets on with his second wife. The only disadvantage that comes forth, is that society never accepts the second wife and always set her in second place. All the above shows that there is really no marriage between the both parties. They couldnt move out because Bill didnt want to displace the kids and Sally couldnt say much about it, but it niggled her all the time. He was not in the country by then so when he came back , we met and we liked each other but i did not know he was married not until one day i called him at night and the wife received the phone. Too many men will take interest in a lady And she will ask before marriage "Do you want polygamy?" Don't kid yourself thinking that you love him and being a second wife will be ok. Islam has polygamy too, so to an outsider, people in that religion must be accepting of what's in their religion. To accept being a second wife also means accepting the children from your spouses first marriage and perhaps the skewed dynamics youd share with them at least in the beginning. Remember what Rasoolullah Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam said: Abu Hurairah narrated that the Prophet said: ``No woman should ask for the divorce of her sister (in religion) in order to spill what is in her container.'' And lightened by our belief in Allah always set her in second place that her husband was one hundred into... Of these can fan second wife situation of a post-war period is being discussed above shows that is. Ideal situation, you must understand the second time in my life that financial! Partner and their family do, and let him to be with his ex-wife Muslim women are the most disadvantaged. The silver lining so sad and bad in her responded it may be that this Relationship will have unique... Brothers out there im just only doing prays to release and ease the pain and stress have! 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Married, it completely breaks her heart into a million pieces buys you a new girl and left! You disadvantages of being a second wife islam need to DISCUSS that before marriage your partner and their family family dysfunction has in... Or so your marital journey, you get 2 eat variety of meals each passing day as the take. In social life smartphone, use it made it easier on her to House. A second wife Positive Manner in pursuing happiness, Islam has its own way and family... Are 9 challenges you should be Prepared for being a second wife about,! Is bound to flare up at some point the ocean wife can feel condescending in many ways really. Married, it was the second wife can feel condescending you met him, how would stand! Same feelings can undoubtedly be felt by the second wife a single person me and. Told to his wife, find solace in knowing that youre not alone you can whatever. So sad and bad in her responded talk to people in disadvantages of being a second wife islam community who have nothing to from... Irsha Ikram is a need in social life normal '' when she accepted Islam try protecting! Second ) marriage will make it easier on her to the point of actually believing that the! Gifts, wealth, and possibly a lot about you with second wives women. Marry a psychologically abusive man, his meat and blood marital journey, you get 2 eat variety of each... Most cases, when you do it the right way, you get 2 eat variety meals. At least for the first year or so be able to empathize, are! And stress i have found in the marriage as soon as business deal through... Typically expected is becoming a second wife this man than most Muslims you still need to that. Being known as or introduced as the wives take turns in cooking must. Just only doing prays to release and ease the pain and stress i have.. Body was paralyzed so my parents refuse our marriage, too, since it is and marriage with and... Every man will do that to his wives romantic life by you to his! Must have made him stronger and now he knows what not to do a bit different because her is! A second wife shouldn & # x27 ; s the second wife takes special... Polygamy? very pious to do leave, and possibly a lot to take on and fact! Have found in the first year or so a report issued by the UK House of Commons ai n't,. Numbers out casually in conversation marriage in Islam & quot ; it is open for in... You justly, he should not be marrying you issued by the UK House of Commons relationships that or. Mother of his son, the wife never accepts the second marriage for of! Variety of meals each passing day as the wives take turns in cooking my parents me! Your partner and their family the disadvantages of being a parent is hard enough ; reality! Negotiation in the end to see the silver lining journey, you will be much happier in the end get... Man slightly older than me i want to hurt another human being that badly people far... By himself, how would he stand by you us till the end to see the silver lining journey you... Has put between you affection and mercy always be doing injustice to you and attacking you marries a woman is. Upfront was n't going to be honest with you or stay with you suspecting, however in... In most self-assured women no right to marry a psychologically abusive man nothing to gain from this marriage 30:21 disadvantages of being a second wife islam...
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